Thoughts of Horror

More coherent review in a bit but....The Bay was awesome.

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 23:07:42 -0400

You need to see it.

Review of The ABCs of Death (TW for animal abuse, child abuse including sexual assault,

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 00:23:50 -0500

So The ABCs of Death is on OnDemand right now and I’ve been curious about it. I watched it and I’ve got to say….I’m not 100% sure how I feel about the movie overall, but there were some really good short films.

For those who don’t know, TABCSoD is an anthology of 26 short films, where each film is inspired by a letter; the titles are all ____ is for ______. They come at the end of each film; some act as punchlines, some merely describe the content, and some serve to frame the larger context of the film/explain the concept.

Viewer beware though: There is a lot of (simulated but very, very real-looking) animal abuse (D and P…oh and Y) as well as the sexual abuse of a child in 2 of the shorts (L and Y). And of course, all the other typical horror stuff.

I would have to say that my favorite films have to be B (although I’ve seen plenty of people who didn’t like it…but I thought it was nice and understated…something I appreciated as I got further along in the movie), R (from the director of A Serbian Film…Martyrs-esque and somewhat hard to watch. Gore galore), and X (a good concept helped by the awesome makeup).

Top 5 worst one runner-ups (I couldn’t pick just 3): F (…just….what the hell?), K (um…just…no. I do not want to see animated poo bouncing and making squeaky noises), L (I was with it up until the kid came out…that was just shock for shock’s sake, which as we all know, I’m not a fan of), P (NO. I WOULD NEVER WATCH THIS AGAIN), and Y (a pedophile one, complete with a hunting scene where they kill a deer. Also, I almost vomited at the bench licking scene).

Honorable mention: D. I could see what it was going for, but I just can’t do any kind of animal abuse.

Drum-roll please….the worst segment goes to: Z. A random collection of images, ideas, and just trying too hard; it was a terrible way to end the movie. I don’t…I just don’t. It was trying to be out there and nonsensical and have a giant penis with a knife that comes out of it’s urethra, but it just…just no.

So, if you can find some of the better shorts online for free, I would definitely recommend checking those out. If you have triggers or aren’t a hardcore horror fan, it might be a good idea to read a summary list to make sure that there aren’t any surprises that will be detrimental to your mental health.

I would say 3/5, mostly due to the really good films. When they’re good, they’re very good, but many are terrible or just boring. It is fun to try and guess what the title will be, and it’s interesting to see all the different ways people spent the money and came up with ideas. Maybe worth a watch, but probably not more than twice (at most).

Guys, seriously, you need to go see Mama.

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 23:46:00 -0500

I just…I’m so pleased with it (minus the wig on the floor part). I cannot express how happy I am with it, you need to just see it :)

Review of Inside (full disclosure: I'm a little drunk atm)

Sun, 06 Jan 2013 02:32:07 -0500

So I’m going to do a more in-depth review later because I want to talk about spoilery stuff and I’ve also been drinking, but I thought I’d get out a regular review while I was thinking about it.

So I finally saw Inside. It was…interesting. It wasn’t bad, just…I don’t know. I wanted more. I will say La Femme was definitely my favorite character; not only was she the most interesting, but her facial features were so unique.

I wouldn’t say it’s particularly scary, and the CGI shots of the baby are just laughably bad, but there’s plenty of gore and it’s a decent film. I’ve definitely seen a lot worse, and I’ll probably watch it again. So if you’re into French horror/gore, definitely check it out if you haven’t already seen it.

Review of The Collector (besides all the usual TWs horror movies come with, TW for simulated animal abuse).

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 21:18:28 -0500

So I’m super late on this, but I just got around to watching The Collector. I was pleasantly surprised…I wasn’t expecting too much from the people behind Saw IV-VI. Let’s just say, The Collector is far better (but I also have trouble remembering any Saw past 4…since 3 and 4 were the same damn movie (right? That is the two I’m thinking of…too lazy to check)).

Summary from IMDb: “Desperate to repay his debt to his ex-wife, an ex-con plots a heist at his new employer’s country home, unaware that a second criminal has also targeted the property, and rigged it with a series of deadly traps.”

There is plenty of gore to go around (including a scene with a phone and a nail that still has me cringing), a cool-looking bad guy (those eyes!), and, unfortunately, two short scenes of simulated animal abuse. But I’m definitely a fan and now pretty much need to see the sequel.

(Late) Review of V/H/S

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 21:36:22 -0500

I honestly wasn’t expecting too much from V/H/S, and that’s what I got out of it. A film that is essentially made up of short films, where most are… adequate at best. The first video, Amateur Night, is the best as far as being interesting (something Second Honeymoon especially fails at).

If you’re in a position where you’re interested and it’s free, I say, give it a watch. But I wouldn’t advise paying for it (like I did..sigh).

(Can we just talk about how I’m cautiously looking forward to The ABCs of Death, given that it has a similar type format of short films? Cuz I’m cautiously optimistic about it).

Review of Sinister

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 23:17:23 -0400

Whoops, forgot that I was supposed to write up a more legit review after I saw Sinister. It’s been a couple weeks now since I’ve seen it.

I loved Sinister. I love Ethan Hawke. I loved the opening scene. I loved that there was intentional (and some probably non-intentional) humor without giving it a satire/parody feel (we all know how I feel about a lot of comedy in horror). I loved the jump scare (and yes, I flinched a lot…and slid down in my seat until I was pretty much lying in it). I loved the use of the films and twists. But most of all, I loved the soundtrack/use of sounds…it was perfect.

Just…go see it. If you have to wait to see it on DVD, rent/buy it. Stream it, whatever. It’s just awesome.

I'll do a more legit review in a bit but seriously, go see Sinister.

Sat, 13 Oct 2012 01:14:37 -0400

Review of The Cabin in the Woods

Sat, 22 Sep 2012 20:49:58 -0400

Subtitle: I am disappoint. Although I 100% recommend watching it because I know a lot of people who would like it, and it’s not like it was a terrible movie…it’s actually pretty good visually and I didn’t want to punch any of the main characters.

Goddammit, I really wanted to like TCITW. I really, really wanted to. The problem is that, as a general rule, I just don’t…really do satire horror. I think deconstructing horror can make for awesome films (Scream, Funny Games, Shaun of the Dead, etc.), but I mean, Scream was super fresh when it came out, Shaun of the Dead is really a comedy, and Funny Games plays it straight. I guess that’s what I’m looking for—either a film bringing something new to the table or (my personal preference really) something that reads serious.

I will say this: I have never really been a Joss Whedon fan. I loved Toy Story (of course) and have a feeling I will love The Avengers when I finally see it. I’ve never been a Buffy person (although I will wholeheartedly agree that it definitely has its place in history). There’s just something that bothers me about him, but I’m not sure I can put my finger on it. Anyway, I’ll admit that I think he’s a talented man, it’s just that his style isn’t for me.

Legit extremely spoiler free review: Check it out. I’m just one chick who has a lot of feelings. It’s a movie that definitely should be seen and I think a lot of people did a wonderful job working on it. I have my own issues with it, but those are really just personal choices. Seriously, see this movie if you’re a horror fan, satire fan, Whedon fan, or any combination of those.

Spoilers under the cut.I think really my biggest issue is that there was waaaaay too much time spent on the generic zombie part of the movie. Like I get that that’s what they were going for, but honestly, I was really bored for most of the movie. Up until they got into the elevator, I was legit just waiting for something to happen and praying that something other than the zombies would show up.

Which brings me to my other issue: not enough time spent looking at all the really cool characters/monsters! I wanted to see things more clearly than some fast shots, with only a few monsters (really) being highlighted. Obviously that’s not super practical, so I understand and am super glad that the internet exists so I can go stare at them there lol.

Final issue (although a lot of movies have this problem), I knew exactly when something was going to pop up, so a lot of the scares were muted for me. That was probably the point though.

Idk. I literally just finished watching it, so I need to let it sit for a little while before I can start really thinking about it in depth. I just…wanted so much more from it.

Review of YellowBrickRoad

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 23:58:53 -0400

Let me just say that I really enjoyed YBR, but I have no idea what it means. I need to sit and think about it a little and then watch it again.

It’s mainly a psychological horror, with minimal gore (although there certainly is some). Summary taken from IMDb.com:

“1940: the entire population of Friar, New Hampshire walked up a winding mountain trail, leaving everything behind. 2008: the first official expedition into the wilderness attempts to solve the mystery of the lost citizens of Friar.”

Don’t judge it by its bad cover art…that shot doesn’t happen lol. There is some loud/pitchy sounds, so if you’re noise sensitive, be mindful of that. Overall though, I actually was really surprised by how much I liked it.

Review of The Possession

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 23:55:00 -0400

Be warned…it is a PG13 movie, so if you see it before a certain time, the audience in your theater may be annoying as hell (as mine was).

The Possession certainly isn’t particularly original, but I enjoyed it. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is not at his best acting, but I liked the little girl who played Em, the daughter who gets possessed. I really wanted the first scene with the original box owners to be a little more fleshed out.

What I liked the best was that it wasn’t just another Catholic exorcism, but a Jewish one (although I wouldn’t be able to tell you how accurate the depiction of Hasidic Judaism is). So it at least brought something a little different to the table.

I would say, sans spoilers, it’s a solid enough movie and I don’t mind having paid the $10 to see it. It’s not going to be your favorite exorcism movie, but it probably won’t be your most hated (anyone else for The Last Exorcism, if only because it was somewhat promising until the last 5 minutes).

Spoilers under the cut (super rambly and random thoughts lol)

EDIT: Forgot to mention, there is a scene with flashing lights that may bother you if you’re sensitive to that.

I liked the emphasis on the hunger of the demon….for some reason, it kind of weirded me out. And I really liked the kitchen scene, mostly just from the shapes used when Em was walking around behind the bottles and Abizu (?) was talking to the mother.

The final reveal…eh. I liked the face, but the weird fetus body just didn’t really do it for me.

I also would have liked a little more back-story on the demon…ok, so it’s the taker (?) of children and it looks in a mirror for all eternity in the box and it takes over a host body in order to get life….but…I want more.

I liked the chanting/whispering from the box, and hell, I didn’t even mind the cliche car crash ending with the box (of course) coming out unscathed. I walked out of the movie feeling pretty good about what I had just watched.

Went with a friend to see The Possession.

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 22:42:23 -0400

Review to come in a little bit!

The thought I had after watching Jeepers Creeper for the first time in a while.

Tue, 14 Aug 2012 23:39:24 -0400

How did the Creeper get his custom license plate? That would be super fortuitous to find someone with that exact liscence plate on a car big enough to hold multiple bodies.

Review of Trollhunter (2010)

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 00:00:00 -0400

Not…really 100% horror, but despite it’s flaws (and there are certainly some), I actually really liked it. The trolls themselves are very…traditional Norwegian troll looking, meaning lots of big noses, and a slight “Where the Wild Things Are”-esque look to them. It all pays off with the troll at the end though. I definitely recommend it; it’s on Netflix, so if you’re looking for something easy to watch, give it a look.

Summary from IMDb.com:

“When bears are found dead in Norway, the students of the Volda University Thomas, Johanna and the cameraman Kalle decide to investigate. They stalk the trailer of the mysterious hunter Hans expecting to find an explanation for the killings. The reluctant Hans tries to flee from the youngsters, but he agrees that they film him in action provided they follow his orders. Sooner the trio of students learns that Hans is actually a troll hunter that works for a secret government agency. Further, several dangerous trolls have escaped from their territory and Hans is assigned to eliminate them.”

coquettishhope: horrorharbour: mortalityplays: horrorharbour: ...

Sat, 28 Jul 2012 23:53:10 -0400

coquettishhope:

horrorharbour:

mortalityplays:

horrorharbour:

gameraddictions:

the…fuck is this

I have no idea. But… jesus.

This is from a Spanish short called Mama! It clocks in at just 3:17 including credits and is one of the scariest little ghost stories I’ve ever seen in the cinema.

Mama was one of the Highlights of Edinburgh’s Dead By Dawn/Spawn of Dawn festival in 2009. My best friend and I hit up Spawn (the one night marathon) every year, and come back with a list of great films and shorts to look up every time. One of these days I should really do a full write-up and recommendation post.

AHA! Thank you so much for sharing! :D And you should do a recommendation post. That would be swell.

The short is awesome, I would love to see the full movie…which according to IMDb is coming out on October 3rd!

What's your full name?

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 02:20:13 -0400

Lol spam?

Review of The Caller

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 02:17:24 -0400

“Troubled divorcee Mary Kee is tormented by a series of sinister phone calls from a mysterious woman. When the stranger reveals she’s calling from the past, Mary tries to break off contact. But the caller doesn’t like being ignored, and looks for revenge in a unique and terrifying way… ”

(Summary from imdb.com)

I didn’t have high hopes for The Caller going into it. I hadn’t heard of it and it’s premise could go wrong very easily. Is it a perfect movie? Nope. But is it better than one would think? Definitely.

The plot has a ton of holes once you start actually thinking about it, it’s not exactly a new concept, and we never find out just how Rose’s call ends up in the future, but as a mindless horror movie with a couple things that made me jump, I was entertained enough to stay awake through it (having woken up early that day, watching it midnight and later, and doing some drinking).

As a note, maybe it was just my TV, but I had to up the brightness a lot because apparently Mary doesn’t believe in electricity or the lamps she has sitting around the apartment. That was kind of obnoxious. Also, she has a stick insect that is never heard from again. Just a little random something.

Anyway, if it sounds interesting, check it out. I would say that it’s definitely worth a watch (although I probably wouldn’t watch it a second time).

Review of Unholy

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 18:41:44 -0400

Unholy has an interesting premise: a mother witnesses her daughter commit suicide and then begins to investigate the causes behind her daughter’s death, prompted by the daughter’s last words, warning her to “beware of the experiment”. This leads to a government conspiracy, Nazis, and the “Unholy Trinity” of time travel, invisibility, and mind control.

Unfortunately, it falls apart pretty quickly. The cherry on top is the reveal of the big twist, which…confused me. Although thinking about it now, I may have figured out what happened to the dad (throw away spoiler: the dad disappears and they presume him dead…at one point, the mother visits his “grave” site…it really has no bearing on anything in the movie).

There were some good ideas, but the execution falls short. I feel like the Nazi angle was really just added because “We need something that is clearly bad…Nazi experiments! Yes!” The Nazi guy is only on screen for about a total of 3 minutes, max, most of which is him in shadows. You could have lost that and the movie really wouldn’t have been much different.

Unholy tried, I’ll give it that, but I’ve seen better (although I have seen plenty worse). Adrienne Barbeau certainly tries her best, and Buffy fans may like seeing Nicholas Brendon as her son, but honestly, I can’t say I would ever watch it again.

Review of Lunopolis

Sat, 16 Jun 2012 00:30:33 -0400

Alright, so this one isn’t really horror, but more sci-fi. But most horror people I know tend to enjoy sci-fi, so I thought I’d include it.

Basically, two filmmakers unearth evidence that there are people living on the moon. You definitely have to leave some wiggle room and not want all the answers 100% spelled out (or think about the logic too deeply), but on the surface level, it’s an interesting, fun, and conspiracy-filled mockumentary. Plus, it’s obvious that the Church of Lunology is a parody of Scientology, which is always fun.

If you’re into movies like that where you have to do some thinking, definitely check it out. It’s a lot better than you would think, since it was direct to video.

30 Day Horror Challenge from HorrorHarbour

Mon, 14 May 2012 14:56:03 -0400

horrorharbour:

I did.

Day 1: A memorable animal in a horror movie.

Day 2: One of your earliest encounters with the horror genre.

Day 3: A favourite saw or chainsaw scene.

Day 4: A great horror movie doctor.

Day 5: Favourite horror director.

Day 6: Your favourite movie by your favourite director.

Day 7: A great hero.

Day 8: Best comedy-horror.

Day 9: A boring horror movie.

Day 10: An instant classic

Day 11: Most psychotic killer.

Day 12: The goriest movie you’ve seen.

Day 13: Favourite foreign horror.

Day 14: The cheesiest horror you’ve ever seen.

Day 15: A great 80’s horror movie.

Day 16: Great indie horror.

Day 17: Favourite horror franchise

Day 18: A movie people hate that you love.

Day 19: A movie that disappointed you.

Day 20: A great twist ending.

Day 21: A horrible/lame twist.

Day 22: Best movie based on a book.

Day 23: Scariest old person.

Day 24: A movie you expected to be bad, but enjoyed.

Day 25: A franchise you don’t like (or if there isn’t one, another one you do like).

Day 26: Worst sequel.

Day 27: Favourite OR least favourite Stephen King movie.

Day 28: A great zombie movie.

Day 29: A movie you refuse to watch.

Day 30: One you need to watch, a.s.a.p.