1Review of The ABCs of Death (TW for animal abuse, child abuse including sexual assault,
So The ABCs of Death is on OnDemand right now and I’ve been curious about it. I watched it and I’ve got to say….I’m not 100% sure how I feel about the movie overall, but there were some really good short films.
For those who don’t know, TABCSoD is an anthology of 26 short films, where each film is inspired by a letter; the titles are all ____ is for ______. They come at the end of each film; some act as punchlines, some merely describe the content, and some serve to frame the larger context of the film/explain the concept.
Viewer beware though: There is a lot of (simulated but very, very real-looking) animal abuse (D and P…oh and Y) as well as the sexual abuse of a child in 2 of the shorts (L and Y). And of course, all the other typical horror stuff.
I would have to say that my favorite films have to be B (although I’ve seen plenty of people who didn’t like it…but I thought it was nice and understated…something I appreciated as I got further along in the movie), R (from the director of A Serbian Film…Martyrs-esque and somewhat hard to watch. Gore galore), and X (a good concept helped by the awesome makeup).
Top 5 worst one runner-ups (I couldn’t pick just 3): F (…just….what the hell?), K (um…just…no. I do not want to see animated poo bouncing and making squeaky noises), L (I was with it up until the kid came out…that was just shock for shock’s sake, which as we all know, I’m not a fan of), P (NO. I WOULD NEVER WATCH THIS AGAIN), and Y (a pedophile one, complete with a hunting scene where they kill a deer. Also, I almost vomited at the bench licking scene).
Honorable mention: D. I could see what it was going for, but I just can’t do any kind of animal abuse.
Drum-roll please….the worst segment goes to: Z. A random collection of images, ideas, and just trying too hard; it was a terrible way to end the movie. I don’t…I just don’t. It was trying to be out there and nonsensical and have a giant penis with a knife that comes out of it’s urethra, but it just…just no.
So, if you can find some of the better shorts online for free, I would definitely recommend checking those out. If you have triggers or aren’t a hardcore horror fan, it might be a good idea to read a summary list to make sure that there aren’t any surprises that will be detrimental to your mental health.
I would say 3/5, mostly due to the really good films. When they’re good, they’re very good, but many are terrible or just boring. It is fun to try and guess what the title will be, and it’s interesting to see all the different ways people spent the money and came up with ideas. Maybe worth a watch, but probably not more than twice (at most).
Guys, seriously, you need to go see Mama.
I just…I’m so pleased with it (minus the wig on the floor part). I cannot express how happy I am with it, you need to just see it :)
Review of Inside (full disclosure: I’m a little drunk atm)
So I’m going to do a more in-depth review later because I want to talk about spoilery stuff and I’ve also been drinking, but I thought I’d get out a regular review while I was thinking about it.
So I finally saw Inside. It was…interesting. It wasn’t bad, just…I don’t know. I wanted more. I will say La Femme was definitely my favorite character; not only was she the most interesting, but her facial features were so unique.
I wouldn’t say it’s particularly scary, and the CGI shots of the baby are just laughably bad, but there’s plenty of gore and it’s a decent film. I’ve definitely seen a lot worse, and I’ll probably watch it again. So if you’re into French horror/gore, definitely check it out if you haven’t already seen it.
Review of The Collector (besides all the usual TWs horror movies come with, TW for simulated animal abuse).
So I’m super late on this, but I just got around to watching The Collector. I was pleasantly surprised…I wasn’t expecting too much from the people behind Saw IV-VI. Let’s just say, The Collector is far better (but I also have trouble remembering any Saw past 4…since 3 and 4 were the same damn movie (right? That is the two I’m thinking of…too lazy to check)).
Summary from IMDb: “Desperate to repay his debt to his ex-wife, an ex-con plots a heist at his new employer’s country home, unaware that a second criminal has also targeted the property, and rigged it with a series of deadly traps.”
There is plenty of gore to go around (including a scene with a phone and a nail that still has me cringing), a cool-looking bad guy (those eyes!), and, unfortunately, two short scenes of simulated animal abuse. But I’m definitely a fan and now pretty much need to see the sequel.
(Late) Review of V/H/S
I honestly wasn’t expecting too much from V/H/S, and that’s what I got out of it. A film that is essentially made up of short films, where most are… adequate at best. The first video, Amateur Night, is the best as far as being interesting (something Second Honeymoon especially fails at).
If you’re in a position where you’re interested and it’s free, I say, give it a watch. But I wouldn’t advise paying for it (like I did..sigh).
(Can we just talk about how I’m cautiously looking forward to The ABCs of Death, given that it has a similar type format of short films? Cuz I’m cautiously optimistic about it).
Review of Sinister
Whoops, forgot that I was supposed to write up a more legit review after I saw Sinister. It’s been a couple weeks now since I’ve seen it.
I loved Sinister. I love Ethan Hawke. I loved the opening scene. I loved that there was intentional (and some probably non-intentional) humor without giving it a satire/parody feel (we all know how I feel about a lot of comedy in horror). I loved the jump scare (and yes, I flinched a lot…and slid down in my seat until I was pretty much lying in it). I loved the use of the films and twists. But most of all, I loved the soundtrack/use of sounds…it was perfect.
Just…go see it. If you have to wait to see it on DVD, rent/buy it. Stream it, whatever. It’s just awesome.
Review of The Cabin in the Woods
Subtitle: I am disappoint. Although I 100% recommend watching it because I know a lot of people who would like it, and it’s not like it was a terrible movie…it’s actually pretty good visually and I didn’t want to punch any of the main characters.
Goddammit, I really wanted to like TCITW. I really, really wanted to. The problem is that, as a general rule, I just don’t…really do satire horror. I think deconstructing horror can make for awesome films (Scream, Funny Games, Shaun of the Dead, etc.), but I mean, Scream was super fresh when it came out, Shaun of the Dead is really a comedy, and Funny Games plays it straight. I guess that’s what I’m looking for—either a film bringing something new to the table or (my personal preference really) something that reads serious.
I will say this: I have never really been a Joss Whedon fan. I loved Toy Story (of course) and have a feeling I will love The Avengers when I finally see it. I’ve never been a Buffy person (although I will wholeheartedly agree that it definitely has its place in history). There’s just something that bothers me about him, but I’m not sure I can put my finger on it. Anyway, I’ll admit that I think he’s a talented man, it’s just that his style isn’t for me.
Legit extremely spoiler free review: Check it out. I’m just one chick who has a lot of feelings. It’s a movie that definitely should be seen and I think a lot of people did a wonderful job working on it. I have my own issues with it, but those are really just personal choices. Seriously, see this movie if you’re a horror fan, satire fan, Whedon fan, or any combination of those.
Spoilers under the cut.
Review of YellowBrickRoad
Let me just say that I really enjoyed YBR, but I have no idea what it means. I need to sit and think about it a little and then watch it again.
It’s mainly a psychological horror, with minimal gore (although there certainly is some). Summary taken from IMDb.com:
“1940: the entire population of Friar, New Hampshire walked up a winding mountain trail, leaving everything behind. 2008: the first official expedition into the wilderness attempts to solve the mystery of the lost citizens of Friar.”
Don’t judge it by its bad cover art…that shot doesn’t happen lol. There is some loud/pitchy sounds, so if you’re noise sensitive, be mindful of that. Overall though, I actually was really surprised by how much I liked it.
